


The Summers When You Were Gone

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Abuse, Abuse Mentions, Angst, Dark, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Forced Orgasm, Hurt, Hurt and comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Just a heads up that Rin rapes Haru., Kind of angsty, M/M, Moving Away, Obsession, Rape, Rape Mentions, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Sexual Abuse, Slow Build, Unhealthy Relationships, Violence, Yandere, bad elements..., because it's always Haru falling in love with Makoto first, but I think that with the way I'm writing this, but its cute, death mention, death mentions, i know its not really realisstic, idk how this is gonna go im kinda just rolling with it, it seems as if they're both falling for each other at the same time, it was supposed to be makoto falling in love with Haru first, makoharu - Freeform, makoto falls in love with Haru, maruka, mild violence, not really violent just a few mentions, sexual abuse mentions, so I wanted it to be different, so im gonna roll with it, unhealthy relationship, whatever that means lol, wow something sfw, yandere makoto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-02 10:44:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4057051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto moves away to America in the summer where he was nine. Shortly after he moved, he stopped contacting Haru for fear that his friend held a grudge against him for moving away. And when he returns years later, Makoto’s friendship turns into something that it wasn’t seven years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I. Summer 2008

**Author's Note:**

> Be proud of me; I wrote something SFW! Lame and typical fic but I need something to publish. Gonna have super duper short chapters but probs frequent updates. Also, I haven't watched Free! in forever so excuse personality/birthday inaccuracies. Sorry for not posting in like 308909 years, so here's my apology gift...is this the first time I've posted something Free! on the AO3? Oh god, I think it is.... 
> 
> Be warned, I may change things as I go.

**I. Summer 2008**

 

_the summer where he was gone_

_nanase haruka_

_dear god of mine_

_please hold back time_

_stop it for me_

_there's a summer day i don't want to see_

_i don't want summer to come_

_even if only for a day_

_please let him stay_

_i don't want it to come;_

_the summer where he was gone_

_there's a day in summer_

_that i can't bear to see_

_and when that day comes_

_it will be the end of me_

_just a short day will do_

_if to have just 24 hours more with you_

_i don't want it to arrive_

_the summer where i had to say goodbye_

_when that august day dawns_

_in the summer where he was gone_

.

 

_god, oh god_

_let everything happen by its own way_

_but by the stars and the moon_

_let this boy stay_

_he's leaving soon_

_and your own shining stars_

_are taking him far_

_so far away_

_please, please let him stay_

_god, oh god, please don't take him away._

 

* * *

 

_iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

"Haru, please don't cry," Makoto whispered gently. "Haru..."

Haru looked up at Makoto, eyes puffy and watering. It was the first time he had cried in a while; the first time in eight years. He had only ever cried as a baby. "I don't want you to leave, Makoto," Haru's voice came out feeble, much unlike his usual, taciturn self.

His friend embraced him tightly, small hands gripping hard onto the fabric of Haru's navy blue and white striped polo shirt. "I'm sorry Haru," Makoto said. Haru could feel warm tears drip onto his shoulder, and the hands clutching his shirt balled into even tighter fists. "Haru, I'm sorry," Makoto blubbered, his cries crescendoing into something awful and primal and heart-wrenching, "Haru, I'm so sorry! Please...I'm sorry."

Haru's tears dried on his own face, and he fell limp into Makoto, who kept sobbing, cries of pain only muffled by the soaked, wrinkled polo. "Makoto, it's okay. I'm going with you."

The boy looked up, giving Haru a despondent smile. "Oh, Haru...Haru...."

Haru indignantly shook his head. "No, if you can't stay, then I'm going with you," he said confidently.

"But you can't," Makoto hoarsely whispered.

"Why not?" Haru huffed, but all of a sudden, his tears were returning and his words came out more as a pained sob than anything.

"I don't know, but you need to stay here and wait for me," Makoto murmured. "Promise me, Haru, that you'll stay here and wait for me to come back."

Haru nodded, throwing himself into Makoto's arms again. "I promise."

Haru also promised himself he would never cry again. He kept that promise for a long time.

* * *

 


	2. II. Spring 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fast forward to five years later, and their lives are now completely separate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, short chapter, and not very interesting. I'm sorry! But I hope you guys'll stick around for when it does get more interesting...still writing it, but I'm pretty sure that a fairly engaging chapter is coming soon.

**II. Spring 2012**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

It had been five years since Makoto moved away, and Haru had long since forgotten about his best friend. Occasionally, the boy with the lucid green eyes danced into his mind, but would soon be forgotten again.

Haru was 13 now, turning 14 in June. He floated on the pool water, the surface covered with cherry blossoms. The pink blooms rained down, and he only stared at the moon as they slowly buried him.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

Makoto was also 13 now, and he was to be turning 14 in November. He had stopped contacting Haru, and lost their shared memories as well.

The American girls flocked toward him even more than the Japanese girls did. But regardless of where he was, Makoto was always going to have a swarm of girls around. He didn't much care for any of them, and always politely rejected them when they confessed their feelings to him.

But there was a girl that he liked. Her name was Margaret, and he thought her quite pretty. She was older than him, though, and he had no chance with an older girl.

At his school, Makoto had found some Japanese-speaking friends, but for the most part, he was forced to utilise his poor English.

Often times, the girls overheard him speaking in his native tongue, and they would giggle amongst themselves, blushing profusely. Makoto's English was far from natural, but he sounded so free in his native Japanese.

It was a fortunate thing, though, that those girls didn't understand what he was saying.

One of Makoto's friends, Shouta, sighed. "Don't you think they're annoying?" he said, glancing over at them. He knew full well that they couldn't understand a word.

Makoto shrugged. "Not really. It's nice that they like me."

Shouta rolled his eyes. "You're just too nice," he said, "Everyone has a breaking point. Even you, Makoto-kun."

"Yeah, yeah, I know that. But they aren't annoying me. I'm not at my breaking point."

"Whatever," Shouta mumbled, "I don't really want to deal with that powwow of yours, so I'll see you later, alright?"

"See you later, Shouta-kun!" Makoto waved as his friend hurried away. He turned around to find said powwow swarming him.

"Makoto, you sound so sexy when you speak Japanese!" One girl swooned.

"Yeah, will you teach me how to speak Japanese?" Another inquired.

"Oh, Marina, don't be greedy! Maybe we want to learn Japanese, too!" The first girl exclaimed.

Makoto laughed gently. "I don't think my English is good enough for that. Sorry, girls."

The girls giggled, disagreeing with him. "No, you're English is good, Makoto!" And, "I'm sure you'd be a fine tutor..." Or, "Aww, what a shame. I think..."

He waved at them, subtly cutting them off, and they swooned, failing to notice the uncomfortable glint in his eyes.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading!!!


	3. III. Winter 2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas of 2013, and Haru suffers three weeks with his aggressive, dying grandmother. Makoto is presented with the opportunity to visit Japan over the holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost at a thousand words, so when I publish this, it'll be one thousand. Then maybe the other chapter will add another 300 or something. So here it gets a tiny bit more interesting, but not that much.
> 
> So you know those books where the first 50 pages are really boring and you don't want to read it, but as you force yourself to press on, you find that it gets really good? Yeah, I'm hoping this fic will end up being really good, despite having a cliche theme. Idk maybe I'm not making sense.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**III. Winter 2013**

_haru - yokohama, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

In 2013, when Haru was 15, his family insisted that they visit his dying grandmother, who was always referred to as Grandma Nanase. So that year, they took a road trip down to Yokohama and visited Grandma Nanase with gifts. It was their own cheerful pity to offer before she died.

Haru was not too fond of Grandma Nanase; not that he was particularly fond of anyone. She was an austere woman, always yelling about social conduct and decency. She was always yelling, in fact, and often times, it was directed toward him. "You have to be social!" She would shout, as Haru did not do much talking. And if he uttered a word, she would just as quickly say, "Shut up! You're a kid; what do you know?"

And with every year that she aged and her illness got worse, she got even grouchier. This year was most likely her final (and grouchiest) year.

After one whole week, Haru finally left Grandma Nanase's house. He was so worn out.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

Makoto's parents suggested visiting Japan over the Christmas holiday. He almost gave in, until Ren and Ran reminded him of something he didn't want to go back to.

"Oh, Makoto-" Ran began.

Mrs. Tachibana gave a pointed look to Ran. "We may live in America, but that doesn't mean you're to start practicing their customs. Respect your brother, Ran."

Mrs. Tachibana insisted that her children continue their Classical Japanese studies, and hired a tutor for them. While she wasn't a total traditionalist, she didn't exactly think it would be healthy for her children to completely forget their heritage and language.

Mr. Tachibana, on the other hand, wasn't so keen on drilling his kids with extra studying. When they first moved, he was especially reluctant to pressure his kids with extra studying on top of regular school and a country thousands of miles away from home. As they settled in, he became more and more compliant to his wife's wishes.

But it didn't really matter what he thought, because Mrs. Tachibana always won the disputes. If she said her children were to continue their Japanese language studies, then her children were going to continue.

"Oh, not fair," Ran grumbled, but complied anyway. "Oniichan," she said in exaggeration, glancing at her mother, who nodded in satisfaction. "You could see Haru-chan again!" she exclaimed, smiling.

Mrs. Tachibana looked surprised for a minute. "Oh, yes, Haru-chan. We haven't seen him in years!"

Makoto looked away. Haru must hate me now. I haven't talked to him in years; I practically abandoned him. I can't face him.

"Wouldn't that be nice, Makoto?" Mrs. Tachibana asked, looking fondly at her son.

Makoto, now that he'd thought of Haru for more than a brief second, was actually dying to see him. He missed Haru. But that fear handicapped him, convinced that Haru despised him for losing contact. "I have some huge projects due and a couple exams after the break. It's better that I stay."

His parents knew he was responsible kid; they had no problem with leaving him home alone. And with knowing that Makoto had to study, they gave their full consent.

Mrs. Tachibana looked at her husband, who nodded. "Alright, Makoto. If we do return over the break, you can stay."

As it turns out, the Tachibana family (except for Makoto) did take a trip to Japan for the winter holiday.

Usually, Mr. Tachibana was busy working overtime during holidays, but he hadn't been home in a while, and knew it was in due time. Not only that, but he was satisfied with his life in America, and didn't see any urgency to return to Japan. But Christmas was the perfect opportunity to go back nonetheless.

Makoto was home alone, the house empty save for a clunky AC. He considered calling Haru to let him know that his family was visiting Japan; he did still have his number, despite never using it.

He didn't.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm just fumbling through this, tbh, so I'm actually very undeserving of kudos and such.


	4. IV. Winter 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sentiments and winter holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised frequent updates but I feel like this took a million years? Sorry, there's some school crap I'm dealing with right now. End of the year projects due tomorrow. I'm such a huge procrastinator. Anyway, I pinky promise we're super close to the interesting part but please bear with me as we struggle through my awful foreshadowing.

**IV. Winter 2014**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

It was about a month after Christmas when Grandma Nanase finally died.

Haru was dragged to the Obon festival by Grandma Nanase. His mother and father stayed back at her house.

"Go out and do something, Haruka! You do nothing all day." Grandma Nanase nagged him. "We're going to the Obon festival."

And that was the last time he saw her, being yelled at while watching fireworks. The next time he saw her, she was dead. He was only allowed home for 15 days before Grandma Nanase died and he had to go back to Yokohama for a memorial.

The urn with her ashes was garnished with various flowers, as if to take away from the fact that someone died. Haru's mother and father were crying. He merely stared at the elaborate urn until he was finally allowed to go.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

Makoto's family was back now, and they said they didn't get to see Haru. Makoto thought this was a fortunate thing; if Haru saw his family but not him, he would be suspicious. He would know that Makoto was avoiding him. And that would break both of them into tiny pieces.

That Valentine's Day, Margaret confessed that she liked Makoto. He also confessed to her, and they began to date.

Ren and Ran loved Margaret, and affectionately nicknamed her "Naga-chan." They constantly teased their older brother about his girlfriend, much to Makoto's embarrassment.

The awful thing was, though, that Makoto still had a longing to see Haru. No longer was it temporary; it had become a nagging feeling that worsened with every passing day.

And Margaret reminded him of Haru. She had dark hair that had the same blue-black appearance as Haru's, and her skin just a bit paler than his. She was just as thin and delicate as Haru, and stood at about 5’8”. That height was deadly close to Haru’s 5’9”.

Makoto pondered lovingly on all of this. He almost laughed out loud imagining how Haru would react to his girlfriend. They were so similar; would Haru be surprised by this? He was very certain that his old friend might be able to at least tolerate her, which was actually a rare thing, because Haru rarely tolerated anyone except for Makoto.

“Makoto,” Margaret said, in a very Haru way.

He froze for a moment, because it felt like the boy was there with him for even just a fleeting moment. “Hmm?” he said distantly. Still a bit oriented, Makoto’s eyes were glazed over in the direction of the blue wall of his room.

She focused her gaze on her boyfriend, and her eyebrows knitted into a scowl (though this was her way of showing concern). “Are you alright,” she asked, but it was so austere that it came out more like a statement.

Makoto laughed despite himself. _That reminds me of Haru._ Without censorship, his thoughts would always drift to Haru. And he froze again. _Always drift to Haru._

Margaret hadn’t noticed him freezing again. “What?”

The boy looked back at his girlfriend and gave her a light smile. “Nothing, it’s just...you were so stern when you said that, it came out like a sentence,” he said. She gave him a funny look, and he quickly added, “It was cute.”

She decided to survey the wall instead, turning her pallid face away. But Makoto saw the light pink flush that had danced onto her cheeks. He chuckled, leaning closer, tilting Margaret’s face toward his. She turned, and Makoto smiled into the kiss.

_ Haru. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, thank you so much for reading!!! I am very happy to know that people have spent their precious time on my fic. Thank you~


	5. V. Summer 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4th of July and fates intertwine(ish).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had something to say but I don't remember.

**V. Summer 2014**

_haru - orlando, florida, usa_

 

Haru went on his first trip to America in July when he was 16. At the time that he went, it happened to be the Americans’ Independence Day/July the 4th; he wasn’t really sure what it was called, or why they celebrated it.

He was in Disneyworld right now, watching the garish fireworks illuminate the obscure sky like bursts of coloured conflagration. His parents stared up at the display in wonder; Haru stared down at his phone while he sucked on a popsicle.

For a second, he felt bold enough to send a text to Makoto. He didn't know where it came from, that sudden burst of confidence. But he typed on the screen, _I'm in America right now_ , and pressed sent.

He found himself eagerly awaiting a reply. No reply came.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - los angeles, california, usa_

 

Makoto was spending the 4th of July in Los Angeles. Ren and Ran begged their mother to at do something festive for the holiday at least once, and she agreed that it would be fun. So their father suggested taking a road trip down to Los Angeles. Apparently, he had some friends down there who threw amazing 4th of July day parties.

After hours of the twins whining, "Are we there yet?" the family arrived at 221 Olia Street, which was a small house with a big party inside.

Before Mr. Tachibana could even knock, the door swung open, and a man who Makoto would later find out was named Vance greeted them, throwing his arms up in the air. The Bud Light he was drinking splashed a bit onto the carpet.

"Eyyyy! It's my man, Ryou!" Vance hooted, slightly tipsy. "And you brought the other Tachibananas! Awesome."

Vance was a somewhat overweight man of Italian descent. He was born in New Jersey, but he didn't have the accent to show it. He did have the tan to show it, though. He was one of the guys who wore those Hawaiian button-down shirts with a few buttons undone in order to show his black chest hair. Vance was also one of those guys who gelled his hair back so sleek that it was practically liquid to the touch. He had that stereotype.

It's a wonder how Vance and Mr. Tachibana became friends, considering how obnoxious the former is and how reticent the latter is. According to Mr. Tachibana, they met in college. Apparently Vance had been studying abroad in Japan, because he (surprisingly) had the best grades at his American school, so he was given the chance to study in Japan for a semester in his senior year.

"Vance!" Mr. Tachibana exclaimed. His English still wasn't great, so "Vance" came out more like "Bahnsu."

"Ryou, how've you been, man?" Vance's Japanese wasn't particularly adept, either, and "Ryou" was difficult to pronounce. It came out more like "Rio," but that was much easier than "Ryoutarou," which was Mr. Tachibana's given name. "I haven't seen you in years!"

Makoto remembers the last time he was in LA, though barely. He was five, still living in Japan, and the family took a plane to visit Vance. He still lived in the same dank house as he did then. The twins hadn't been born then, so this was their first time meeting Vance and seeing his dirty house.

Mrs. Tachibana was actually quite fond of Vance, which had always surprised Makoto. He didn't think that his mother would approve of Vance's lifestyle, which consisted of multiple packs of cigarettes a day and an "afternoon vodka time." Occasionally, he did pot.

Makoto was soon bored of hearing "bro," "Ryou," and "yo" every two seconds, so he whipped out his Samsung and flipped to the messages app. Margaret had texted him. _Going for fireworks on the beach tonight. Want to come?_ And Makoto had to say: _sorry, can't. Driving down to LA for a party._ Margaret made him promise that they would do something as soon as he came back.

Besides that, there was one other text. It was from an unknown number, though Makoto had a sickening feeling that he knew who it was. _He must have changed his number._

The text read, _I'm in America right now._

His heart lightened a bit, and he was almost happy to know that he and Haru were finally in the same place, after years of being so far away.

But the fact remained that Makoto deleted the text and fake smiled when Vance said, "Mako! You've gotten so big, damn!" even though he was actually filled with dread.

The 4th of July party was far from enjoyable.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh well here you go enjoy! Thank you very much for (enjoying?) reading my fic...lots of love!


	6. VI. Spring 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama mama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I remember what I wanted to say. If you see any mistakes (like thoughts/texts aren't italicised, anything grammatical like that) PLEASE TELL ME! You won't offend me, I promise. But I'm a lazy ass and I just skim through my chapters and look for obvious mistakes, so it wouldn't be surprising if I missed something.
> 
> FYI: this chapter is really short. Like, REALLY short.

**VI. Spring 2015**

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

"Makoto, we're moving back to Japan."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I know this was literally like five words long, but I wanted it to be super duper dramatic. Next chapter will probably be of average length.


	7. VII. Autumn 2008

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to go in chronological order but apparently not.  
> And I lied, I'm sorry: this chapter is not of normal length.

**VII. Autumn 2008**

  
  


The letters and calls and emails steadily became more and more infrequent.

In the beginning, it was everyday. Three times a day Makoto would call, once a day he would send an email about his day, and once a week Haru received several letters that detailed Makoto's adventures in America.

Then it became maybe one call every other day, an email once a week, and if Haru was lucky, a couple letters per month.

And then all of those numbers kept waning down until they were zeros. Makoto stopped because he feared that Haru didn't care about him anymore. And the truth was, Haru believed that Makoto stopped contacting him because he didn't care. So like he did with all things, Haru just stopped caring. He forgot.

They both forgot.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this stuff anyway! I'm slowly plodding along...I want to write the interesting stuff so badly.


	8. VIII. Spring 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual harassment and Makoto's questions are answered (sort of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of NSFW, but not really? Like I tried not to make it all descriptive and explicit. Just a warning.
> 
> Also warnings for sexual harassment.

**VIII. Spring 2015**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

It was still too cold to jump in the pool, and Haru huffed. He was jealous of the cherry blossoms that floated on the surface of the pool. If only he were as lifeless as them, then he could swim in a cold pool.

He was tempted to dive into the water regardless, though hearing his name in the distance distracted him. “Haru!”

It was Rin, as abrasive as ever.

Haru turned around, noticing his friend running toward him. “Hey, Haru!”

“Rin,” he said plainly, blinking as the red-haired neared.

And he suddenly stopped dead, some feet from Haru. His eyes were wide open, and his lips formed a surprised “oh.”

“Rin?” Haru cocked his head slightly. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t think so.”

"Maybe we could race another day. I think you should go home, if you aren't feeling well."

"Yeah, I think you're right."

"Bye, Rin."

"...bye, Haru."

 

* * *

 

_no one._

 

I lay on my bed, and my head pounds.

Haru has hair darker than black, and eyes even bluer than the Heart of the Ocean. His skin is smooth and uninterrupted, like the surface of a gentle river. I wish he would let me touch him, just to feel that softness under my hands.

I close my eyes and imagine that my fingertips are brushing against that gentle river. That must be what his skin feels like.

I want to have sex with him. I want to kiss him, and he'll writhe under me, begging for more. He would be so hot to the touch. I would curse him with my hands, and from that, he would be all mine.

And his mouth would be parted slightly and he'd let out gentle moans as I made love to him. The sounds he made would get louder and louder until he cried and asked for more.

So beautiful. "Ah!" I don't bother to be quiet. When Haru reaches it, I do, too.

I feel my entire body go taut, turning into putty in less than a second. "Ahh...H-Haru!"

It feels so good.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

"In the summer."

"Since when?"

"...around Christmas."

"2014?"

"Yes."

"Why did you wait until now to tell me?"

"We know that you don't want to return. You have a life here...so we waited. And we realise that that was the wrong decision. We're sorry."

"It's fine," he lied.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading! I know a lot of the chapters are very vague, and they're supposed to be that way. I guess it's so the reader can interpret the chapter how they want to.


	9. IX. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a new relationship and the end of an old one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry; I lied to you! This is the chapter that has sexual harassment. Oops. Also a bit more NSFW (also pretty toned down). This will probably be the last of it? I don't really know.

**IX. Summer 2015**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

It was June, meaning it was finally warm enough for Haru to swim. He dived into the pool, body forming a perfect arc before he hit the water.

He went back and forth, feeling so satisfied every time he pushed off of the opposite wall. Haru didn't take a break, even when his lungs hurt. He finally came up when he started to feel dizzy, and was met with Rin standing at the edge of the pool.

"Haru," Rin said, clearing his throat. "I wanted to talk."

Haru nodded, climbing out of the pool. He stood across from him, staring into Rin's eyes with his intense azure ones.

"What is it?"

Rin looked down, and he didn't look like himself. He was cocky and obnoxious; why did he look down in shame? It was very unlike him.

"Haru...I just wanted to say that...that I'm-" Rin paused and squeezed his eyes shut, "-I'm in love with you, Haruka."

"Don't call me that," Haru said with a frown.

Rin cracked a small smile. "That's so you, Haru." He still looked down at the wet ground.

He sat down and dangled his feet in the water, and then Haru followed suit. Rin looked up from the pool and at Haru, who still stared elsewhere.

In a sudden bold move, Rin turned Haru toward him and kissed him hard.

"Haru..."

He took in a shaky breath and pressed their lips together again.

Haru's eyes were wide open. His mouth didn't move with Rin's. It was uncomfortable and he wanted to pull away. But he didn't want Rin to think that he hated him, so he let the red-haired boy kiss him.

_This isn't even that bad_ , Haru's mind told him. _It's not like he's groping me. Rin wouldn't do that to me, anyway._

But as soon as he had the thought, he felt a hand on his lower region. Haru could swear he was about to cry. Oh god.

He didn't want this, not from Rin. Rin was just a friend. But he couldn't pull away long enough to tell him to stop.

A groan escaped his lips before he could stop it. Haru felt Rin reaching inside his swim trunks, sliding up and down. The hand on his face left, presumably to go down Rin's pants.

Haru could hardly stop the little sounds coming out. Every time Rin's hand slid on him, a bit of pleasure warmed his torso. Heavier sounds left him, and Haru suddenly pulled away and let out a cry that no one, not even himself, had ever heard before.

Rin licked his hand as he continued under his own shorts. "Haru...Haru!"

Haru scooted away. He felt so sensitive down there.

Before this, he had never once sexually touched himself. He didn't think he wanted to. It felt so good, but...he felt sick remembering the previous seconds. The seconds where he was touched without consent.

Rin didn't seem to notice that he forced all of this on Haru. "Haru...that felt good."

The black haired boy nodded, slightly dazed.

Rin, who was euphoric, smiled somewhat loopily. "Haru, will you go out with me?"

Haru wasn't sure that he had a choice. "Okay."

Rin's smile widened, and he stood up with a bit of bounce. "See you later, Haru!"

Haru frowned at his reflection in the water. He looked so sad.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

Makoto thought he should tell Margaret in person. So he told her to meet him at a coffee shop.

Margaret ordered a decaf coffee; he ordered nothing for himself.

"Margaret...I think instead of beating around the bush, I should just tell you what I have to say," Makoto began.

She nodded, looking up at him from her mug.

"I'm moving back to Japan."

Her eyes widened and she took the mug from her lips. Her face fell. Makoto could tell she was about to cry. But Margaret, like Haru, wasn't one to show her emotions.

"When?" she calmly inquired.

"August," he cleared his throat. "I don't know what day."

Margaret stood up, sighing. "I'm sorry, Makoto. I just...I need to think about this."

He gazed up at her. "You need to think about when you're going to break up with me?" Makoto could read Margaret as well as he used to be able to read Haru.

And Margaret knew how well he could read her. "I'm sorry, Makoto," she said again. "Let's just break up now. I don't think I can do this for the next couple of months."

Makoto nodded, agreeing. "I see," he said curtly. "Bye, Margaret."

She also nodded, walking a few steps before she turned around. "Bye, Makoto." And she went on her way.

He watched her walk away, before nodding to himself. "Huh."

A waitress came by with a check, though he hardly noticed.

It was then that he realised he'd never loved Margaret. Not at all.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all of your support...I'm continuing to write this fic, even though the chapters are crappy and short. I know it's going to be much better in the long run. Please do continue to read and kudos and comment!


	10. X. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Packing away both feelings and belongings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you remember the promise? If not, I suggest you look back to chapter one.

**X. Summer 2015**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

Rin laid kisses down on Haru's body, travelling downward. Haru lay still, not daring to move.

He wanted to cry. But Haru remembered his promise. The promise he made to Makoto seven years ago. He couldn't.

And he let Rin do this to him for a long time.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - santa cruz, california, usa_

 

All of his stuff was packed in boxes. The only thing left in his room was his phone plugged into its charger.

Makoto smiled sadly for a second. "I'm going home."

_I'm going home, Haru._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddd thank you! I have a couple more chapters to post, and then I will continue writing more chapters...


	11. XI. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under and above water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have much to say. I apologise if this is awful? There isn't much more than that that I say in these notes.

**XI. Summer 2015**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

It was a sweltering August, and that meant Haru was rarely out of the pool.

Rin often came and watched him, or joined him on occasion. He would smile and think dirty thoughts as he watched Haru's form flow through the water.

At around midnight, Haru stood in the shallow pool and stared up at the moon. It was on summer nights like this that he remembered Makoto.

It was hot and there was a full moon, just like it was seven years ago. Haru could hardly remember what Makoto looked like; he couldn't even imagine what the boy looked like now.

He wondered if Makoto ever looked up at the moon and remembered that August night.

He thought that in a way, the moon was the connection between them. The moon was why they weren't strangers. The moon was why they still existed in each other's minds.

 

* * *

 

_makoto - pacific ocean_

  
_I'm almost home, Haru._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


	12. XII. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweet home Iwatobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru is doing the same old, so there wasn't a need to put him in this chapter. Though, we have reached a critical point in Makoto's story.
> 
> And I just made up Sakigawa; I don't know if it's a real place in Japan or not.

**XII. Summer 2015**

_makoto - sakigawa, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

The airport closest to Iwatobi was thirty minutes away, and it was a very small airport in the middle of a nowhere town called Sakigawa.

Makoto stood at the baggage claim, watching various suitcases go around and around.

Ren and Ran were playing a game to see who could find the Tachibana luggage. Often times, they found the wrong luggage, and Mr. Tachibana was the one who found all of their suitcases.

"I miss Naga-chan!" Ran exclaimed, pouting. She petulantly folded her arms across her chest.

"Yeah!" Ren agreed. "Why couldn't we have taken Naga-chan?"

Makoto laughed softly. "Because Margaret belongs in America. We can't just take her with us, silly!"

_And we already have Haru._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you soooooooo much for reading! I am happy to announce that we have reached a fairly interesting point in the story. You've suffered around 5,000 words of build up. And it will be worth it!
> 
> Like, there was this time that I went to China. And my parents forced me to climb the Great Wall. It was tiring, I was sweating profusely, and death was knocking on my door. In the end, it wasn't worth it. Not at all. Anyway, (well that analogy was irrelevant) I hope your experience with my fic is better than my experience with the Great Wall.


	13. XIII. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Double popsicles and impossible luck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thank you all so much for your feedback on this fic!!! I'm sorry it took me like a year to update, but I had a writing streak and this next chapter kinda just flew from my fingers...
> 
> I'm a bit late, but I guess I'll dedicate this chapter to lil Haru-chan's birthday...I was actually hoping I would finish this before the 30th, but I just couldn't find the inspiration. Oh well, close enough!
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think about pacing or how it's going, or all of the grammatical errors I made! I really, truly appreciate constructive criticism.
> 
> Oh, and I also changed the summary to fit what's been happening. So thank you very much for your time! I appreciate it more than words could explain.

**XIII. Summer 2015**

_haru - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

With it being a burning August day, most people were out swimming. This meant that Haru couldn't swim alone as he liked to; he hated having people around when he swam.

Then what else could he do? No matter where he went, there would be people. _But even if there are people, anything is better than listening to my parents arguing_ , he thought.

As of late, Mr. and Mrs. Nanase fought very often. Besides the heat, this was why Haru was always out swimming. He sensed a divorce coming, and didn't want to be there to witness it all go down. Nor did he want his parents to have the opportunity to say, "Haruka, we need to talk."

If not swimming, then what else could one do on a day like this?

Haru huffed, and he thought about ice cream. Ice cream sounded good right now.

He didn't bother to say anything to his arguing parents as he left, nor did he bother to lock the door behind him.

Haru had the way to the convenience store completely and totally ingrained in his mind. There was no possible way he could ever forget it, so much so that he was confident he could find his way there walking backwards and blindfolded from anywhere.

The reason why it was deeply nailed into his mind is because nailed with it were memories of Makoto. He could never quite forget the boy. And every time he passed the convenience store, he remembered how years ago after school they would constantly go in. Makoto would always buy the blue double popsicle and split it, giving Haru the other half. He never got them two single popsicles, and he never let Haru pay.

The first time it happened, it was the last day of school before the short summer break. Makoto was wearing his summer uniform, but Haru was still wearing his standard uniform.

_“Haru-chan!” Makoto had chirped, giggling at his friend, “You know it’s summer, right? You’ll have to wear your summer uniform.”_

_“I know that,” Haru grumbled._

_“It’s so hot today,” Makoto moaned aloud. “Want to go to the convenience store and get something cold?”_

_“Sure,” Haru replied._

_Makoto saw the electric blue, berry flavoured popsicle in the freezer. There was a double and a single popsicle. He picked the double, much to Haru’s surprised, and paid for it all himself. Haru felt awful, like he needed to compensate for just one popsicle._

_Makoto split it and gave Haru the other half, smiling as he gave it to him. “This should cool us down.”_

_Haru accepted it gratefully, though he wondered why Makoto got the double instead of the singles. The singles were only 100 yen per item, yet the double was 250. Why waste his money when he could get the same thing for cheaper? “Why did you get the double popsicle? You know, the singles would’ve been cheaper.”_   
  
_Makoto offered that sunny smile again. “I know, Haru-chan,” he said in that way, the way that Makoto talked to him. He didn’t talk like that to anyone else, because Haru was special, special in ways that might have been a bit hard for an eight year old to comprehend. “But I thought it’d be more romantic!” He laughed, droopy eyes closing in mirth._

_Haru blushed and looked down at the ground. “Don’t say embarrassing things like that,” he mumbled, unable to make eye contact. “And drop the ‘-chan.’ ”_

_Makoto only laughed at the boy’s embarrassment, though it wasn’t in a cruel way. “Anything you say, Haru-chan!”_

_And Haru kind of hoped that Makoto would buy a double popsicle for them to split again._

Haru shook his head, as if that would rid him of the thoughts. _That was so long ago_ , he told himself. _I’m just better off forgetting it._

He hadn’t been inside that convenience store for years, his reasons being that he was afraid of the memories and also of Makoto himself. But, the other reason was that there was a nearby grocery store that carried all the essential parts of his diet. Including freshly caught mackerel. A convenience store simply did not fulfill his dietary supplements.

So when he entered the quiet little corner store and was hit by the air of the old, rusty AC, he was reminded of the summer day so many years ago, where he felt the same thing. The man at the counter didn’t look up from his newspaper to greet Haru, showing no obvious interest in his only customer.

Haru didn’t particularly care; he hated receiving attention. He felt his feet walk him toward the freezer in the back of the store, as if they had a mind of their own. And then his hands slid open the doors and picked out the blue double popsicle.

The man didn’t look away from his newspaper as he rung Haru up, either. He didn’t even put the money that Haru slid over the counter into the cash register.

Haru sighed as he made his way home, splitting the popsicle into two. For a second, he was about to give the other half to a nonexistent Makoto, and his heart broke a little. “You finally let me pay, Makoto,” he murmured to himself.

When he looked up from the popsicle and briefly to the left to check for cars, he could’ve sworn that he saw a boy smaller than he had been, with scruffy brown hair and a beam that outshone the sun. But rather, he saw a boy that had grown a lot taller than him, with scruffy brown hair and the corner of his lips pulled up into a gentle smile. Makoto had always done that. Haru frowned, masking his shock quite well. It had been years, but Haru could recognize Makoto from anywhere.

He looked away, to the right, then looked back, as if he was checking to see if he was losing it. But when he looked back, the man was still standing there. The man who looked exactly like Makoto Tachibana, but was taller and had mature features.

When they were young boys, Haru had been taller and a bit more mature looking than Makoto because he was the older one. But somehow, Makoto (or who he thought was Makoto) was a lot taller than him and well built. Well, he should’ve expected that.

Slowly, tentatively, Haru crossed the street, hoping he could muster up the courage to approach the man. Seeing him up closer, he now had no doubt in his mind that this man was his Makoto.

His throat was dry and his voice faltered as he said his next words: “Makoto?” he croaked. He felt like crying. A foreign burn lodged itself into his eyes and his stomach churned. He never knew how much he had missed Makoto after all this time.

A light seemed to be struck in the man’s eyes. That voice was so familiar to him, reminiscent of something else. His head very slowly turned, and he faced the man before him. His reaction was delayed, as if he was processing it all. Shock. Pure and utter shock coated his features like a mask, and his jaw dropped.

His eyes were blown open as he stared at Haru, who thought he was showing a look of surprise, though anyone else who looked at him would’ve said that he still had a deadpan expression. Even though it had been years since they last spoke, Makoto could still sense the surprise from Haru. He could still read Haru.

“H-Haru?!” he exclaimed, joy and excitement making his voice squeak. “I...I haven’t…”

Haru shook his head in disbelief. “Makoto...it’s been years.”

All of a sudden tears started welling up in Makoto’s eyes, still as green and beautiful as ever. He threw his arms around Haru and sobbed desperately. For some reason, Haru had been expecting this reaction. And he realised that he still knew Makoto. After all that time.

“Haru...I’m so sorry!” he wailed. He reminded Haru of a very large puppy. “I’m sorry I lost contact with you!”

Haru lay limp in shock. He welcomed the warm embrace, though he did nothing to show it. “Makoto…”

“Haruuuuuuuu!” Makoto bawled, sobbing obnoxiously. If there had been many other people around, he would’ve been a disturbance. “I missed you so much! I’m sorry, it’s my fault…” he rambled, apologising for things that weren’t at all his fault. Yep, Makoto was still the same as ever. Selfless and apologising way too much. “I just couldn’t handle losing you…”

That struck a chord in Haru’s heart. It made him a bit warmer, and he smiled faintly. He wanted to hear Makoto’s voice. A necessity that he had lacked for years.

“It’s not like me, I don’t know...I was so scared that you hated me that I just avoided you...and I’m sorry, Haru. I didn’t want to lose you, but I didn’t realise that by avoiding you I was losing you,” Makoto’s blubbering would’ve been almost incoherent to the normal ear, but since he was Haru, he understood every word. “I’ve never been happier in my life. To be reunited with you...is the greatest feeling in the world.”

The words he said were so genuine and beautiful, Haru almost cried. “M-Mako...to,” he stumbled on the name, trying to hold back tears.

“I love you Haru!” Makoto blurted out, “I love you more than anything in this world!”

Haru’s heart did a few acrobatic tricks, and his stomach filled with butterflies. He barely stammered out the words in return. “I...love you, too, Mako...Makoto.”

Makoto finally let go of him. “After all these years, you’re still my best friend. No one in America could ever be as good as you.”

And in that moment, just for a small crazy second, Haru thought he wanted something more than friendship. It faded away just as quickly as it came. But for Makoto, thoughts like those would linger for much longer.

Haru choked up a bit, and finally, after some seven years, tears left his eyes. The promise he made to Makoto was broken. Makoto didn’t seem to mind one bit.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I know I promised quicker updates but shorter chapters, and I'm sorry that I'm such a slow updater. I get writer's block super easy and often times it results in me not finishing any fic that I start. I feel pretty lucky to have gotten this far.


	14. XIV. Summer 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has a dark side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm on a roll, two updates in one day! And, double bonus: this chapter is a bit longer than the others. I got a bit carried away, so I just kept on writing and writing. I'm probably going to start yet another chapter as well. So thank you all very much for reading my stuff and supporting me!
> 
> I tried to keep them in character, and I feel like Haru's pretty in character, but Makoto is OOC. I'm sorry. I'm not a huge fan of OOC, but that's just how it happened. I hope you'll be able to enjoy it!
> 
> Warnings for: blood mentions, death mentions, rape/sexual abuse mentions, and mild violence. (Also if other chapters contain content that you think might be triggering, please let me know so I can mention it in the notes)
> 
> Also going to bump up the rating to M, just to play it safe. I still don't plan on having smut on here, though. Maybe steamy kissing. That rinharu scene at the pool is probably the most sexual it will get...I was honest to god trying to be even more subtle than that. But for that scene and also the gory references ahead, I'll be changing the rating to M. Just want to make sure all of the readers are safe and that they don't come across disturbing/triggering content. Had to give you guys a heads up!
> 
> So if you can tolerate all of that, please, do read on and tell me what you think! Thank you very much!

**XIV. Summer 2015**

_haru and makoto - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

The next week rolled by, and Makoto was with Haru almost 24/7. When his parents found out that they reunited, they tried to let him spend as much time with Haru as possible. They knew how much Haru meant to him.

As for Haru’s parents, they were back to being free spirits and were never around. He essentially lived alone again. But with Makoto back in the house down the hill, he wasn’t living alone. Because Makoto, even if he was some feet away, was back where he belonged. In Asia, in Japan, on Honshu, in Kanagawa Prefecture, in Iwatobi, on the little hill, back in his house below Haru’s. And Haru appreciated nothing more than that.

In this last week, Haru also realised that he had never felt indifferent about Makoto moving away, and that for a very long time he was wounded and waiting for his other piece to come back. Makoto realised the same thing, possibly being more hurt than Haru over the situation.

A loud, rough knock came to the door. Haru knew just who it was. And over the course of a week, Haru had almost forgotten him and the shit he had gotten himself into. Almost.

He got up from his place against Makoto, who looked somewhat perplexed, ignoring the feeling of dread in his stomach, and went to the door. As expected, it was Rin.

“Haru,” he said, smiling a bit. “I missed you.”

He graced the black haired boy with a gentle kiss on the lips. Haru thought that this wasn’t as nearly as unpleasant as last time, in fact, it was nice. But he didn’t change his mind about the fact that he did not have feelings for Rin, and he never would after what the redhaired boy did.

“Makoto’s here,” Haru suddenly said. He couldn’t help it; he was so overwhelmed with pure ecstasy, something he had never really felt before.

Rin chuckled. He noticed how happy Haru looked about that, and a little burst of anger was sparked in his stomach. He ignored it, though. “So he’s finally back, eh?”

Haru nodded enthusiastically, turning to walk toward his room. Rin followed him. He hadn’t seen Makoto in so many years...what did he look like now?

Rin wasn’t at all surprised when he saw a tall man with sinewy muscles that Gou would’ve thrown a fit over. His baby fat had melted away and left him with a long face and sharp jawlines. Though what remained the same was the gentle look on his face and his droopy, kind, green eyes.

He had expected for Makoto to grow up to be very attractive. “Makoto!” he exclaimed, grinning widely.

“Rin!” Makoto cried out in disbelief. He jumped up and gave Rin a quick, tight squeeze.

Rin also wasn’t surprised at Makoto’s tight, crushing grip. With muscles that big, he supposed that it should’ve been expected.

“Long time no see, buddy,” Rin chuckled, sitting back down.

Makoto also took his seat on the ground again. “Too long.”

They enjoyed a bag of shrimp chips and amiable small talk, when Rin leaned over to whisper something into Haru’s ear. “Did you tell him about us?”

Haru’s eyes widened. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to...he felt a strange disappointment lurch in his stomach, and he stared at Makoto. The green eyed boy gave him a smile, one of those smiles only for Haru. His heart fluttered just a bit.

“Should we?” he whispered to Rin. He was hoping that he wouldn’t have to, that he could just break up with Rin, that he could just be alone with Makoto. Especially right now, in this tense situation.

Rin nodded. “Yeah, go ahead, Haru.” He said this in a normal voice, so that Makoto could hear.

Makoto looked up from his soda and the chips he was munching on. “What is it, Haru?”

Rin smiled proudly, and Haru looked hesitant. Makoto saw the despondence in Haru’s eyes, the reluctance, and the longing. The longing for what, he didn’t know. He sensed something in the air, something not quite right, and decided he wouldn’t stir things up by mentioning Haru’s true emotions, of which Rin was ignorant to.

“Rin and I-” He paused when Rin laced their fingers together. He tried to continue and make it seem totally natural, but Makoto caught the pause and knew that there was something bad happening, something that he didn’t know about. “...are in a relationship,” Haru finished quietly. He didn’t seem ashamed about confessing it, but...sad? Was it sadness?

Makoto didn’t want to do anything, because at this point he realised that Haru could be in a dangerous situation and he did not want to provoke Rin and further endanger Haru. A confrontation would just have to come later, after Rin left. So instead, he put on his best fake smile, clapping a bit. “Congratulations!” he gushed, “I always thought you guys would get together.” He smirked a bit, for added effect.

For reasons unbeknownst to him, Makoto also felt a bit of what Haru was feeling: despondence and longing. A little pang of jealousy hit him like the sudden banging of crash cymbals. He remembered back to when he still lived in America, near the end of his temporary residence in the country, when he constantly thought about Haru and wished that they could see each other again.

Haru examined Makoto’s eyes, and he could see just a bit of disappointment, and also concern. He wondered vaguely if Makoto could sense what was happening, if he knew that this was only a facade. Hiding what happened behind closed doors and on stained mattresses.

“Did you?” Rin smiled, “I had always thought it would be you and Haru.”

This sent something through both the brunet and the black haired. A rush of some sort. Adrenaline. The epiphany of sorts wasn’t expressed on their countenances.

An unspoken tension hovered in the air shortly after the confession, though Rin remained blithe and oblivious toward it. He finally left around 5:30, saying that he promised Gou that he’d take her to see a movie, and that he was already running late.

“But I don’t mind running late if I can spend even just one more second with Haru,” he flirtatiously purred, smiling at Haru.

Haru didn’t like that in the least. It sounded cheesy and very strange coming from Rin. He had always thought that Rin would fall for his old friend that he always talked about, whose name he believed was Sousuke. Why Haru? Why, when everything could’ve been perfect with Makoto, if Rin hadn’t entered the picture?

On the other hand, Makoto felt his gut twist again, and he looked away as Rin pecked Haru on the lips. He didn’t want to say anymore, but...if there really was something fishy going on between them, even if it was a small chance...he would have to talk to Haru about it. For his safety. And there was nothing, besides Haru’s happiness, that was more important than that.

“See you later, Makoto,” Rin waved.

When Makoto heard the door slam shut, he quickly slid over to where Haru was sitting, and sat close to him. He gave him the concerned Makoto look.

Haru almost rolled his eyes. Makoto was so motherly. “Makoto?”

“Haru, I...I want you to promise that you’ll tell me the truth,” Makoto said, his voice wavering. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes.

“What is it?” Haru asked, fearful.

“Please just promise me,” Makoto insisted, his voice breaking more and more. “I need to ask you a question.”

Haru nodded. “I’ll never lie to you, Makoto.” Was that in itself a lie? Haru was human. Naturally, he would lie. But the thought of lying to Makoto terrified him, and he tucked it away in the deep recesses of his mind.

“Is Rin...is Rin doing something to you? That you maybe don’t like? Things...against your consent and will?” Makoto tentatively inquired, hoping he wouldn’t startle his friend.

Haru looked away, and Makoto knew his answer. His face turned ashen and he looked away, waiting anxiously for Haru to elaborate.

The blue eyed man hesitated greatly. “Yes,” Haru murmured, so quietly, Makoto could barely hear it. And he all of a sudden became blunt, completely trusting Makoto with this information. “Rape. Sexual abuse.”

Makoto let out a shaky gasp and allowed for tears to fall down his face. Haru didn’t think it was right that Makoto was more upset about it than he was.

“I…” Makoto began, his voice cracking before he broke into sobs. “I...I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Haru sighed, shaking his head. Makoto collapsed into him, laying his head in Haru’s crossed legs, and poured his heart out to Haru.

Haru was looking straight down at the boy, noticing that even when he cried, he was still beautiful. Maybe even more beautiful than when his eyes were dry. He petted Makoto’s hair, and wiped tears away with his knuckles. “Makoto, don’t worry about it,” he said softly. He wouldn’t lie to him and tell him it was okay. Because it wasn’t. “I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want you to be so worried about me…”

“How can’t I be worried about you, Haru?!” Makoto cried, “You’re the person I care about the most in this world!”

Haru’s heart twirled around again. “You’re right,” he admitted. “But I care about you, too, Makoto, and I don’t want you to stress yourself out like this.”

He never thought they would be saying such meaningful things to each other in such a short amount of time. Back when they were kids, every word exchanged was meaningless, mindless blabber. And now, after being together again for only a week, they were saying things that were said when young love blossomed.

Makoto suddenly sat up, looking determined. He sniffled, and his eyes were red and puffy, but it didn’t take away from the hopeful glint in his eyes. “We can take him to court. If he raped you…”

Haru shook his head. “You know they won’t take it seriously. They never take rape seriously,” he stated, “And if I did, Rin would literally kill me.”

Makoto refused to take no for an answer. “No! Haru, we can get him arrested. We’ll make the court take it seriously.”

“Fine, fine,” Haru said, “Let’s say they do take it seriously. Then what do I do about Rin? If I try to break up with him, I just know...it’s not going to be good at all. He might kill me, Makoto! If he’s so willing to put his hands all over me without even considering my consent, then I’m damn sure he’d be willing to spread my blood on the walls!” He didn’t mean to raise his voice, but Makoto had to realise the consequences that he would get from Rin.

Makoto looked fairly shocked. He dried his tears, and looked Haru so deeply in the eye it scared him. “Haru…” he said softly.

It wasn’t the reaction Haru was expecting. Makoto had a dreamlike look in his eyes, and he leaned closer to Haru’s face. A gentle smile graced his lips. Slightly chapped, but plump and cute. For a second Haru felt indignance grow in his gut, thinking of how many girls he so sweetly and sinfully kissed with those lips.

 _Kiss me, Makoto,_ Haru’s mind whispered. _Make me forget about Rin._ He never said anything aloud, though, remaining almost eerily silent as Makoto neared.

Makoto stopped just an inch from his face. Haru could feel his hot breath fanning on his face, laboured, yet soothing to listen to. This was something that Makoto would never do, unless he was delirious. Haru didn’t know what was happening, nor did he know what was going on inside of Makoto’s head. Was he crazy? Did he not realise how strange this looked?

Realistically speaking, Makoto probably didn’t realise how close he was to Haru. Even though their foreheads were pressed together, perhaps he still thought that there was distance between them.

But this was not the case. Makoto knew how close they were. He wanted to see Haru’s face, truly see him. To see all of his features. His eyes bluer than the royal blue of the pacific ocean. His bangs, black like onyx and parted to reveal his face. And he also wanted Haru to really look at him. Closely. And perhaps never be able to look away.

He didn’t know where he got the audacity to do this sort of thing. It was so out of character for him, for his cautious and thoughtful self. But Haru always managed to bring his daring side out. Haru managed to bring everything—the worst and the best—out of him.

For a moment, Haru was wondering if Makoto was going to kiss him. This didn’t appear to be the case. Instead, the boy said in a trembling voice, “I’ll kill him,” he whispered, a simper crawling onto his lips. It was so sickeningly sweet, and so sadistic. Like Makoto was overjoyed to be saying it. It was so malevolent, so unlike Makoto, that Haru gasped sharply and abruptly pulled away.

“Makoto…” he murmured, voice falling away.

Makoto leaned in again, even closer than before. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, Haru,” he whispered, back to his concerned voice with no ulterior motives. But just as quickly as it went back, it changed again. “Even if it means hurting someone else.”

Haru’s breathing had turned ragged. He had no idea that sweet Makoto could become so dark...so passionate and dedicated that his entire being would twist into something too execrable for this world. He never wanted to see Makoto like that again. He wanted Makoto to be all smiles and droopy eyes, petting kittens on their way home from school.

Makoto pulled away, and his features softened again. He smiled gently, the smile he only let Haru see, as if nothing had transpired between them. “Do you want to play video games or something?” he asked nonchalantly. “This subject is a little heavy. I think we should drop it and worry about it later. What do you think Haru?”

He returned to his usual self so quickly it was scary. Haru nodded emptily, still processing what he had just seen.

As Makoto dragged out the old Playstation controllers, the ones that hadn’t been used ever since he left, Haru got to thinking. He got to thinking about Rin. And then the rape. And then the emotions, the perfect storm of them clouding his body.

And then the fear.

Haru was terrified of Rin.

And he was even more terrified about what Makoto would do to Rin to protect him, what would happen between the two. Broken friendships and bloody corpses. Screams ringing out through the night. Makoto smiling, hugging Haru tightly with Rin’s blood on his hands.

Haru was absolutely fucking _petrified_.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then...Makoto ended up being a lot more twisted than I thought, and this chapter ended up being very gruesome and dark. I'm sorry, I have no idea how this happened...I kinda just wrote. And wrote and wrote and wrote and this is what came out.
> 
> But thank you for reading! I hope to lighten up the atmosphere a bit next chapter...the fic just changes with every new chapter. Joy then sadness then...darkness. Sorry guys!


	15. XV. Autumn 2015

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bathtub musings. Or, bathtub epiphanies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are! It’s finally Autumn (in the fic, of course). And this fic is becoming more hurt/comfort-y than I hoped it would...I don’t know at what point it ended up so dark and miserable tbh. I’m not entirely sure if I like this turn of events. So more Rin (I feel bad for antagonising my shark child). It’s getting hard to hold back the gay, so there’s some of that in this chapter as well. I feel like this story is starting to get really unrealistic and cheesy? But I don’t know, so please give me feedback in the comments! I’d appreciate it.
> 
> And one more thing: I feel like maybe Makoto and Haru are getting close too fast. Because, they only reunited like a month ago, and now they’re more touchy-feely and romantic than ever. But I guess I could chalk it up to them slowly (IM MAKING THEM FALL IN LOVE TOO FAST TOO) fall in love, right?
> 
> I think I’m being paranoid.

**XV. Autumn 2015**

_haru and makoto - iwatobi, kanagawa prefecture, japan_

 

Haru fortunately never saw Makoto’s ominous display again, and he eventually settled into a routine: avoiding Rin, Rin finding him, Rin raping him, and then Haru relying on Makoto after the fact. He knew that he had to do something...but his fear was slowly becoming a more and more devastating handicap on his abilities to stand up for himself.

When Rin first raped him, he had at least tried to protest. But now, he was far too scared to even make a sound.

It was another day in early October, and Rin had found Haru again. He was more sexually frustrated than usual, for as soon as he opened the door, he tackled Haru and kissed him with fervour. He pushed Haru toward the bedroom, moaning as he felt around his mouth.

Haru stumbled. Any cries he may have voice died when Rin pushed his tongue further into his mouth, and he was almost choked. He coughed, gasping for air, yet Rin wouldn’t pull away. And it didn’t seem like he was oblivious to Haru’s agony.

He was thrown on the bed and his clothes were torn off. Rin barely prepared Haru before he forcefully pushed in. Haru let out a mewl of pain, but the moans from the redheaded drowned him out. “Haru!” Rin shouted. “I need you…”

“Rin!” Haru cried, though it wasn’t out of pleasure. However, the boy assumed that it was.

“Do you like it, Haru?” Rin panted, thrusting harder and harder.

Haru had no response for him. He lifted his hand to his mouth and tried to cover it, so that he could muffle any sounds that might deter Rin. His eyes were half shut, and he prayed that no tears would leak out just yet.

It was only seconds later when Haru’s abuser released inside of him. He quickly pulled out and zipped up his pants. “Haru, you’re amazing.”

Rin kissed him on the forehead, not seeming to realise that he had hurt Haru. “I’ll let you sleep, okay?”

He smiled down at the exhausted man, spread eagle on the bed, and took his leave. Haru wanted to drift off to sleep, yet he didn’t want to leave the daze that he was in. The dull pain in his lower back, intensifying if he dared to move a muscle.

Five minutes later, a knock came to his door. Haru shot up, thinking it was Rin. His heart thumped in terror. But he heard a different voice, far less abrasive and obnoxious than Rin’s. Makoto.

“Haru?” he could faintly hear the voice. “You’re probably bathing again…”

He heard the sound of his door opening, and Makoto gingerly stepping into the house with a quiet “Excuse the intrusion.”

Haru had no intentions of letting his friend see him like this, but the fatigue in his bones wouldn’t allow him to stand up. He lay like a dead man on his bed.

Makoto checked the bedroom last, and audibly gasped when he saw Haru, barely-awake and splayed out on the bed naked. Exploited, in a way. He felt his lunch begin to come up, and Makoto had to look away.

“H-Haru…” he whispered.

Haru directed his gaze toward Makoto, making eye contact, though he hoped he wouldn’t have to say anything. The scene was an obvious one, meaning that words weren’t needed.

“Something needs to be done, Haru.”

“Makoto, we don't need to drag other people into this.”

Makoto shook his head, irritated. “Yes, we do! You're being abused. Abused, Haru!”

Haru sighed audibly, and he let his features soften. “I don't want to have this argument,” he murmured, looking Makoto straight in the eye. The other boy dropped his resolve, staring just as softly back into Haru's eyes. He knew that Haru only warmed the harsh look in his eyes for him, and it made him glow.

“Will you help me into the bath?”

Makoto swallowed hard, not exactly making eye contact anymore. He nodded slowly. “Sure,” he said with a small smile, gazing back into Haru's eyes again.

Haru sat up, though it was a laboured move on behalf of his behind. He held out his hand, asking to be helped up. Makoto slipped his hand into Haru's, pulling him up. He was so warm to the touch.

Makoto let his fingertips rest on the small of Haru’s back, guiding him gently, yet indefinitely there to catch him should he fall. Haru shivered, Makoto's fingers ghosting over his back like some tease. He leaned slightly into the touch.

He limped into the bathroom, leaning against the wall and waiting for Makoto to prepare his bath.

Makoto messed with the knobs, puzzled. “How do you like it, Haru?”

Haru very suddenly realised that he was stark naked in front of someone he hadn't seen for years. Yet in a way, it felt natural. Why had they grown so close in a month when they had been so far away for years? Why did it only take a month to become closer than they had been for years before?

Makoto looked at him expectantly, and Haru remembered that he had asked a question. He sighed. “Run it hot. Steaming hot.”

His friend raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure? I don't want you to get burnt....”

Haru waved him off. “Yes, I'm sure.”

Makoto complied, running the water so hot it almost instantly vaporised. He wiped sweat that collected on his forehead; it was incredibly humid in the bathroom.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Haru nodded, peeling himself off of the wall. The humidity had caused him to be stuck to the wall.

Makoto helped him walk the short distance to the bathtub. Haru slowly lifted his long legs over into the tub, using Makoto as support. "Thank you,” he murmured quietly.

Makoto looked slightly taken aback. It was rare to receive a “thank you” from Haru. “O-oh, sure, Haru,” he said, smiling. “I'll wait for you in the living room.”

Haru shrugged, looking at Makoto with hard azurite eyes, though they softened noticeably when they met Makoto's own peridot ones. “You don’t have to. I’m going to be in here for a while anyway.”

Makoto tilted his head, smile widening. “I want to,” he said, almost in a teasing voice. Haru noticed that he was biting his lip, as if holding back amusement.

Haru looked away. “Do whatever.”

Makoto chuckled. “Okay, then I’ll be hanging around.”

 

* * *

 

Haru’s plan was to sit in the tub and not think. But the thing was, was that thinking of Rin pained him, and Makoto just happened to be his advil. When he looked up to the blank white ceiling and remembered the pain he had endured over an hour ago, the thought of Makoto would enter his mind and Rin would be washed away. And Haru thought that in a way, Makoto was both a tranquiliser and an aphrodisiac. His jade eyes were all at once something that soothed him and something that piqued him.

It was hard not to think of Makoto, who had grown so tall and attractive and muscular. He had the same gentle smile as he did when he was a child, but it grew to be very charming, almost sexy. His face had easily lost his baby fat, but not all of it, so that he was still cute. The curves on his body turned into sharp, masculine edges. Only his personality was the exact same. His kindness and empathy, and the way he acted toward only Haru. The unwavering smile he only gave to Haru.

Maybe it had been years, but their friendship hadn’t changed one bit. In fact, during that period of distance, it seemed to have only grown stronger. And in a completely different way than what either boy expected.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, thank you for reading! I’m so eager for them to both start having gay thoughts and then realise their feelings and then confess and shit...but I want to take it slow, just to torture myself. I also tried to do a subtext-y thing, where if you notice who the point of view is focused on, it kind of seems like those romantic descriptions are from that person’s point of view? I don’t think I did a very good job of it, though, lol. Anyway, I’m super excited to keep writing this! Thank you for your feedback! Till next time xx

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading, sorry it's short and awful! It'll get better, hopefully... And yeah, I wrote the poem. It was something I had written separately, but I thought it might be a nice addition to this fic.


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